育才学习网1. 谁能给我个很好笑的英语笑话,高中阶段的,要带中文翻译哦
A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。
他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”
“可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
英语小笑话 上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球， 一个老美看到就笑我说， "Do you know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著 性， 缩写正好是 Adidas） " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快， 联想力这么丰富时，旁边的 一个老美帮我解围， 他说， 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn， 他们的招牌歌之一就是 A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢，这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能详的喔！ 下次就换你去取笑老美了. A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"。
2. 英语短笑话
呵呵 这个个不错。
My advantage is that I am handsome, but my disadvantage is that the handsomeness is not so obvious。
我的优点是：我很帅；而我的缺点是：我帅得不明显。
Money is not everything. There's MasterCard & Visa.
钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡.
One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃.
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡.
Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道.
Behind every successful woman, there is a man. And behind
every unsuccessful man, there are two.
每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人. 每个不成功男人的背后， 都有两个.
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛.
The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.
聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来.
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）.
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口， 今天就要找好.
3. 英语笑话及中文翻译
Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting. One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, "You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!"
Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot.
"Heavens!" the officer said. "Has that silly man really shot himself?"
He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. "I'm sorry, sir," he said, "but I missed again."
彼得十八岁那年参了军，他需要参加几个月的学习以成为一名好士兵。彼得在其他方面都做得很好，但是射击不行。一天他和伙伴们练习射击，除了彼得其他人都没有问题。他射了九次，一次也没有命中目标。这时，教新兵射击的教官说：“彼得，你看来是没希望了，不要连最后一发子弹都浪费掉！去那堵墙后面用它向自己打一枪吧。”
彼得感到非常惭愧。他走到那堵墙后面。几分钟后，教官和新兵们听到一声枪响。
“上帝！”教官叫起来，“难道那个笨蛋真的朝自己开枪了？”
他急忙跑到那堵墙后面，发现彼得安然无恙。“对不起，长官，”他说，“我还是没有命中。”
4. 简短的英语笑话带翻译
Feel Unhappy.心里难受
Son: Is it wrong to give anyone mental or physical hurt when he felt unhappy?
Father: Of cause, it is.
Son: Fine, now I am feeling so bad. I lost in two subjects this time.
Father(angrily): What? You------
儿子：是不是当心里难受时，就不应该再给他精神或肉体上的刺激？
父亲：那当然！
儿子：那好，这次我有两门功课不及格，我现在心里很难受。
父亲（气愤地）：什么？你……
It's not that. 不是那样的。
A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet.
B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella.
A: No, it wasn't raining.
A：我看见7个女孩共撑一把伞却没有一个被淋湿。
B：啊？那一定是把很大的伞吧！
A：不是，当时并没有下雨。
Compare other things？比一下其他？
Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon's name signed.
Mom: You just care about this? Haven't you compared other things?
Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.
儿子：妈妈，John有双乔丹签名的球鞋。
妈妈：你只关心这个吗？不会比一下其它东西？
儿子：有啊，他妈妈比你漂亮。
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,
5. 急
A tiger caught a Deer.一只老虎抓到一头鹿 The tiger plans to eat the deer, so the deer screamed: " you can't eat me"老虎打算吃了这头鹿.鹿急忙大叫：“你不能吃我？” The tiger hesitated, feeling very strange, so he asked the deer: " why can't i eat you？ 老虎一楞，感到很奇怪，于是问鹿：“为什么我不能吃你？” The deer said:" Because im a protected second class animal in the country, so, no matter what you can't eat me ！" 鹿说：“因为我是国家二级保护动物，所以，你无论如何也不能吃了我！” The tiger after hearing what the deer said, laughed and said " haha, then i should really eat you ！ 老虎听完笑着说：“呵呵，那么我更应该要吃你了 Deer asked : " why ？" 鹿说：“为什么？” " because im a first class protected animal in the country" Tiger proudly said “因为我是国家一级动物！”老虎得意地说。
A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it .She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes.Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do ?" Yelled back the father ,"Keep feeding him nickels！" 母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去，她立刻将他抱起，头朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了两枚一角的硬币，她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道： “你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币，可咳出两枚一角的硬币！我该怎么办呢？“ 孩子他爸大声回答道：“再喂他几枚五分镍币！” Just Sew the Buttonhole Husband: Did you sew the button on my shirt, darling? Wife: No, dear. I couldn't find the button, so I just sewed up the buttonhole. 丈夫：你给我把扣子缝好了吗，亲爱的？妻子：没有，亲爱的。我找不到扣子，所以我只把扣眼儿给缝上了。
To Give Up the SeatLittle Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.""Well, you've done the right thing," says Mommy"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."让座小约翰告诉妈妈：“早上我和爸爸坐公车时，他让我给一位女士让座。”“好，你做得对。”
妈妈说。“但是，妈妈，我那时正坐在爸爸的大腿上。”
Be Much WorsePoliceman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse. 可能更糟警察：当你的手表被抢的时候，你为什么不大声喊叫呢？男士：如果我张嘴喊叫，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那样情况就更糟了！My Baby Swallowed a Bullet Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ? Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody." 年轻的妈妈说：“医生，我孩子吞下一颗子弹，我该怎么办？” 医生说：“不要让他指着任何人。”
6. 有趣的英语单词怎么写
1、interesting:adj. 有趣的；引起兴趣的，令人关注的2、funny:adj. 有趣的，好笑的，滑稽的；（口）稀奇的，古怪的，奇异的；有病的，不舒服的；狡猾的，欺骗（性）的，可疑的，不光明n. 滑稽人物；笑话，有趣的故事；滑稽连环漫画栏；（英）（比赛用）单人双桨小艇3、amusing:adj. 有趣的，好玩的；引人发笑的v. 逗乐；打发；使…高兴（amuse的ing形式）比较级 more amusing最高级 most amusing4、diverting:adj. 有趣的；令人快乐的v. 使转移；使得到消遣（divert的现在分词）如何学好英语：1、学习英语，其实跟学习汉语其实是一样的，都是先学习辅音和元音。
2、学英语，其次要学习发音。3、学英语，再次就是单词的积累量。
4、学英语，要学会句子构成。5、学英语，听听力。